It's hard watching someone you love destroying their lives with substance abuse. There is so much destruction of family relationships that can happen when addiction occurs.
One of the key things to preventing things from getting out of hand is remembering to set hard and firm boundaries. And remember also, while someone is using substances, they are not the same person. They will do things you can't imagine to maintain their addiction.
Yes, they will steal from you, they will lie to you, manipulate you, etc. You don't have to completely shut them out or completely invite them in either. There is a balancing act that has to happen when you have a loved one in addiction. And maintaining LOVING boundaries can make a big difference in their journey and yours.
Here's the thing, it's hard when they steal from you for the first time. You are not expecting it, it's not something you could really see coming. Now that you know what they are capable of and willing to do, it's now time to make sure they don't have the ability to do it again, and again , and again. That is what causes the most destruction in the relationship, repeat offenses to things that would be preventable with strong boundaries.
Sometimes loving people, even your own child, from a distance so they cannot destroy your own life, is essential to protecting yourself and protecting them from doing things to you they will regret. Yes, they do actually feel shame over these things even if it's hard to see or believe.
By loving them from a distance, but not shutting them out and letting them know you are there for them, can make a huge difference in their willingness to eventually get the help they need. It's hard to find that line, especially if you are unsure of where that line is. This is where getting help for yourself is essential in your success.
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