When someone is in addiction, lies upon lies are being told so readily that it can be hard to know what or who to believe anymore. They tell just enough truths and get mad when you question them, you stop trusting yourself.
I've told so many lies and I've been lied to so many times. And when I can really step back and reflect, there has always been this little piece inside of me that knows when I am being lied to.
Sometimes I CHOOSE to ignore it and believe them, for several reasons:
I don't have time to deal with their bullshit
I can't go down that road again
They were doing good and I don't want to believe they aren't anymore
I don't want to "lose them"
I don't want to fight right now, i'm too tired (emotionally).
I've made a safe space for them to be honest, they wouldn't lie to me
And several other reasons why I choose to ignore reality.
But, here is the problem with ignoring things. Our decisions then become based in their lies. And we aren't helping anyone when we are making decisions that aren't based in reality. Unintentionally, we are perpetuating their bullshit. We are teaching them how to treat us.
Yes, it's exhausting to keep up with people who are lying and manipulating. It can tear your soul apart. Which is why it's important to have people in your life that can help empower you in your weakest moments. It's important to have people who can help you confirm or point out when we are ignoring the truth because we just don't think we can face it anymore.
Having helped all the families I have, I really thought about how someone can remain diligent while remaining in reality even when it gets really tough. There is a process people go through when faced with hard decisions. I laid out the logic flow for people in order to guide them.
Assess your situation
Commit to yourself
When you have a loved one in addiction, it's important to remember the F.A.C.T.S.™
As you can see, facing reality is the first thing we have to do.
So, when you have that little tingling sensation we get when we are being lied to, you can use this logic flow to help you empower yourself to stay diligent in facing reality.
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