Updated: Dec 3, 2019
I'm a firm believer that any one that wants to change can. And anyone that puts forth the effort to take the massive action to change for the better, deserves to not have their past held against them.
But that's what it takes...massive action, and someone that keeps making the same mistakes over and over again, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice. They are choosing how they are going to live their lives.
Having dealt with thousands of people making choices, I've learned to honor what they are choosing as I don't have any say in the matter.
If you have a loved one with substance abuse, you are going to be faced with having to watch someone you love make choices that don't serve them. And there is nothing you can do about their choices. But there are things you can do about your choices.
Maybe it was a mistake to let them back in the house, and then you learn and move on making better choices, no need to beat yourself up...but it was a choice when it happened for the 5th time. Now it's a pattern.
Here's a good question to ask yourself:
What are the things you are choosing for yourself that is a pattern that may need to be broken because it's not helping?
Take five minutes and really think about the things they keep doing over and over and over again, and ask yourself if you are responding in the same way over and over again.
Maybe it's time to do something different. And maybe you need help to figure out what that different is.
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