There are no truer words said when it comes to having a loved one with substance abuse. It doesn't just impact the person using, it impacts everyone in the family unit. And the families are the ones that end up suffering the most.
The confusion it causes the families, the guilt/shame, and the lack of resources helping and supporting the families through their loved ones addiction can wreak havoc. It can feel embarrassing to have a loved one in addiction, to the point you can't even admit there is a substance abuse issue. At least not for a while.
When a parent has to watch their smart, capable, amazing child destroying all their potential, it can be a hard pill to swallow. You almost begin to think somehow it's your fault, so now you have to "fix it." The family can start subtly taking more responsibility than they should for a person's behavior.
The family could even find themselves starting to point fingers at each other. Laying blame on whose fault it is that the person turned out this way. Guess what, it's no one's fault. But, the families are forced to have to make tough decisions at this point. Decisions that are based in a world most people have no clue how to navigate.
There is a lot of confusion, chaos, shame, guilt, and just the overall cluelessness on how to handle situations and knowing what to do. AND that's AFTER we have finally been able to admit to ourselves there is even a problem in the first place.
This is why it's important that if you even suspect there is some sort of potential problem or you are worried, to start figuring out now how to handle certain situations. If you are very well aware there is a problem, it's crucial to get help for yourself.
Most people end up waiting till certain points of complete despair and desperation that it almost seems impossible to come back from it. But you don't have to wait till it gets that far down the line to seek the support and help you need. You have an opportunity to do right by you and them NOW, before it's too late and you have the harsh 20/20 hindsight vision of all the things you could have done differently, but it's too late.
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