We teach people how to treat us
Updated: Dec 3, 2019
When it comes to having a loved one with substance abuse, there is a lot of emotional abuse, mental abuse, even physical abuse. It is not always glaringly obvious and the destruction of self happens slowly over time.
We begin tolerating small seemingly insignificant things because we don't want to have to deal with the wrath of our loved ones, especially since they seem out of their minds any way. Before you know it, after tolerating these little things, we start losing ourselves.
And it all starts with a small sense of self-doubt.
When you set a boundary, they tell you you are being too harsh, you're crazy. Maybe they make you believe your boundary is killing them. And because we don't grow up with the knowledge of how to handle someone with substance abuse issues, we may start believing them. Maybe you already have your own doubts that you are doing the right thing.
Before long, they are treating you like shit, and you are letting them. Sure, you're angry about it, frustrated, scared, etc. Maybe it feels like it's too late to do anything about it at this point, you've let it go for too long and this is just the way it is now.
At any moment, you can choose to change this. But, remember how I said we don't grow up with the knowledge of how to handle someone with substance abuse. You can't do it alone. Let me rephrase that, you don't want to try to do it alone, you will lose yourself.
There are people out there like myself that can help you know how to navigate this confusing world of substance abuse. See, for people like me, the substance abuse world is predictable. For others that don't know this world, it is seen as illogical, confusing, chaotic, etc. And it is those things, and yet it's also predictable.
Here is a major tip that will help you exponentially but you may need some help with.
Set your boundaries from a proactive, grounded loving place.
That means you are taking care of yourself, loving yourself, and loving them through this process. That is not always so easy because they can cause a lot of destruction but you can stop the destruction and interruptions to your life, it just requires you to get help for yourself.
Today is a great day to start loving yourself again
I post daily about things that will help you navigate this crazy world of substance abuse! If you want to be notified when I post, click here and Subscribe to my blog!
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