The Unbreakable Boundaries Program
A Program to Help Set and Defend Supportive Boundaries with Your Addicted Loved One
A program that explains the "how's" and "why's" of boundary setting with people that have addiction or trauma related substance abuse.
Boundaries with people in addiction are complicated
Here are some things to consider:
Guilt will drive your decisions until you learn the value of healthy boundaries, which provide a structure for healing.
Maybe you don't have the facts you need to set effective boundaries.
Too many people may be giving you unsolicited advice to a situation they have no clue about and it's contradicting and confusing.
What works for some, may not work for you
There are no blanket solutions
Language matters, maybe a simple tweak in wording can change the outcome dramatically
How do you know what to do when:
Your loved one gets arrested?
They are hinting at suicide? Or flat out telling you they are going to kill themselves?
You start seeing money missing from your wallet? Or you are much further along in them stealing from you and all your tools, TV, Jewelry, etc are gone?
You know they are lying to you, but you have no evidence?
They can't seem to really hear anything you are saying to them?
You're in a vicious cycle of things getting better then things getting worse again?
You get so sick and tired of having to stop everything you're doing to go clean up their mess?
They have wrecked yet another car you bought them so they could get to and from work?
They say they are going to work, but they never seem to have money?
Your boundaries seem to be constantly getting stomped on?
They are in the hospital for the THIRD freaking overdose, as if one wasn't enough to wake them up.
We aren't taught how to deal with this stuff...until now
Watch this video to see to learn even more about the program and what it will do for you
Save yourself years of frustration, time, and money in a few short weeks.
Addiction is like being in a foreign country
Addiction (or trauma related substance abuse) operates under a different set of rules, but the rules are predictable if you know the language and how it operates. But you need a guide, a road map so to speak. The boundary setting program does just that. It gives you the road map to setting effective boundaries that work!
It also goes into details about WHY certain boundaries don't work and what you have to do to ensure success. There is so much to setting effective boundaries.
WANT TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE PROGRAM AND WHAT HER BIG INSIGHTS WERE? LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST INTERVIEW.
Setting effective boundaries is essential to their well being and yours.
How do you set clear expectations?
How do you know what to expect from a seemingly unpredictable world?
Why do you keep ending up breaking your own rules?
How do you love them unconditionally and support them, without crossing the line into enabling?
The program answers all these questions and more
Outline of the program
This program is a eight week program. The first five weeks are with videos which we will be discussing more in depth with each of our calls together. Below is what the video series looks like and the core of the foundation you are building to support yourself for years after.
Overview of the program
This first video goes through the overview of the program and some key factors into why boundaries sometimes don't work and what you need to think about as you are setting your boundaries. There are a lot of things to work on first before actually setting boundaries.
There are simply areas where we don't know what we don't know. Addiction is something we don't automatically understand. There are places where we can find ourselves in denial, it's important to know how to break free from denial so we can set effective boundaries by having more of the facts.
Assess your Situation
Most people with substance abuse have trauma. How do you handle that? What are some financial considerations? What are some of the patterns you are witnessing in them? When you try to tell them something, do they misinterpret what you are saying? Do they seem to get angry every time you try to talk to them? How can you pierce through their drug/alcohol haze and reach them? This section focuses on how to get them to respond differently.
Commit to yourself
Boundaries are a commitment. They can make you feel uncomfortable sometimes, but how can you commit to being uncomfortable when you know you are doing the right thing? This section goes through how to commit to yourself and to them free of guilt and shame. We are not doing anything TO them, we are doing everything FOR them.
This section goes through how to limit reactive boundaries and how to set proactive boundaries with clear expectations and guidelines for your loved one. Language is important, we go through how to language boundaries and formulate solid, effective, unbreakable boundaries.
Tough love is essential, but it doesn't mean you have to be tough on them. It means you will have to make decisions that are tough to do. But you are making those decisions out of love, compassion, and faith. Showing love is action oriented. They need to know you believe in them and that you are there for them no matter what, but you will not enable their poor behaviors. You are showing love for yourself and for them. I don't know of any parent that wants to turn their back on their own child, and you don't have to.
Schedule a call with me to get signed up.
Frequently asked questions
What is the price of this program?
The cost is only $779. The question you have to ask yourself is what is the cost if you don't do something like this.
Is this the only service you provide?
No, but this is where I start people because it builds out our foundation of working together.
I've tried other online programs and have a hard time getting through them. I really want to make sure I make it through this.
This is why we are going to work together and schedule everything out before hand. All you have to do is show up at our designated time and we will keep you on track with your goals.
I want to go through this program, but I would prefer to talk to you first about it. Can I do that?
Absolutely, I understand sometimes people just need to talk to a human. Please feel free to schedule a call with me or even email me at Jennifer@ManeelyConsulting.com
What makes this different than the other things out there?
I've done extensive research into the field, the focus for helping families has been about educating families about addiction, which is necessary BUT not a lot of focus on what the families can actually do about it. This program focuses on YOUR action steps and strategies.
I am busy, I don't have a lot of time, how much time is this going to take?
Not very long, not even two hours a week, our two hours a week will be an equivelant to 50 hours of experience, so you are going to save a lot of time, energy, and money
Is this confidential?
Absolutely! People often don't want anyone knowing what is going on in their lives. That's why I've provided a way for people to go through this program on their own. Confidentiality is the biggest service I provide. Even people that work one-on-one with me, my clients privacy is my #1 Priority.
I see this is mainly geared towards parents and grandparents, but I am dealing with a spouse. Do you have anything for that kind of situation?
I do not have an online program yet specifically for dealing with a spouse, however, the principles are the same, but communication and situations may be different. My recommendation would be to reach out and have me go through this program with you and help you one-on-one. Even if you chose to go through this program on your own, you will still get what you needed in terms of learning how to set boundaries.
Are you going to tell me what boundaries I have to set? I'm kind of tired of people doing that.
NOPE! I'm going to help you formulate the boundaries you feel good about. They are YOUR boundaries. There are no blanket solutions, but there are important principles to understand about addiction that will help you understand why certain boundaries are in their best interest and yours. Remember, we are not doing anything TO them, we are doing everything FOR them.
Is this just more of someone telling me I have to show "Tough Love"?
Yes and no, my definition of tough love is having to sometimes make decisions that are tough to do BECAUSE you love them. It is not about being tough on them.