Feeling like you are lost in knowing how to help your loved one?
It can be so hard to know what to do or what to say to your loved one. Does it seem like everytime you open your mouth, it's either like talking to a wall or a argument breaks out? Do you feel like you are getting pulled in several different directions to the point you say to yourself "I really don't have time to worry about this."?
When is the last time you got a good night sleep?
Does it seem like when you lay down at night completely exhausted and emotionally drained, your thoughts about your loved one seem to be all consuming. Does it seem like your thoughts go a mile a minute as soon as you almost drift off? Maybe it feels like you haven't slept in months or even years???
Are you ready to get your life back...guilt free?
Does it feel like your loved one has completely taken over your life? Are you waiting for their lives to get better so you can get on with your own life? Do you say to yourself, "this is it, this is their wake up call, this has to be enough, I NEED this to be THE wake up call." And for a minute, it seems like maybe they are starting to get their lives together and then BOOM! The cycle seems to just keep going on. How are you supposed to live your own life?
LET'S ACKNOWLEDGE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT: YOU DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS.
You didn't sign up for:
That boyfriend/girlfriend they brought home that you fear is the cause of all this chaos.
Constantly getting lied to and manipulated.
Getting screamed at everytime you try to open your mouth and help them or ask them a question.
All those times you had to bail them out of trouble.
MAYBE IT'S TIME TO TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH.
You may be spending so much time trying to figure out how to help them, you've completely lost yourself in the process.
Do you find that:
When you're at work, your thoughts constantly drift to worrying about your loved one.
Everytime the phone rings, you fear it's "THAT" call.
You find yourself turning into a person you don't want to be.
LET'S GET YOUR LIFE BACK
The problems weren't created overnight, they won't be solved overnight
This is a journey. Education is important. Support is necessary. From a person in long term recovery,
You can dive into the mindset of someone who has substance abuse.
Have a better understanding of what boundaries are helpful.
Learn more about what you are up against.
Discover how important it is for you to live your best life.
Gain confidence in your decisions.
And you can do it from the privacy of your own home. Sign up for Jen's newsletter. She provides free information on how to help your loved one and most importantly, how to help yourself.
ABOUT JENNIFER MANEELY
Jennifer has been in recovery for over 14 years. She started getting calls from parents desperate for her to help their loved ones. Having been in recovery for so long, she knew one thing to be true, there is nothing anyone can do or say to help them until they are ready to get help. PERIOD.
That left the parents feeling hopeless, frustrated, desperate, angry and scared. She knew from her own experience with her family how important it was from them to get the help they needed.
She started giving the families what they needed:
Confidence in their decisions
What is really going on with their loved one on a deep level
How to deal with the manipulation and lying
Be free of the parent guilt (you did nothing wrong)
Jen has been in your loved ones shoes. She understands the mentality like no one else other than someone that has been there can.
She has also had to be in your shoes. Being in recovery, she has been well versed in learning how to help and protect herself. She may not be a parent, but this is not a parenting issue. This is learning how to navigate having someone you care about constantly trying to blow their lives up and take everyone down with them. And how to not get caught up in a world in which you do not belong.
You didn't sign up for this. However, it's a problem that is not just going to go away. It's time to learn how to deal with it and be the person you want to be through a journey you didn't ask for.
WHEN YOU WORK WITH JEN DIRECTLY, SHE COVERS:
How to handle difficult conversations and the most effective language to use.
Setting effective, loving, and supportive boundaries, and most importantly, defining good solid boundaries you are willing to defend.
Interpretation of actions, behaviors and mindsets that will help you navigate your decision-making process.
Family dynamics are complicated. We walk through the complicated family dynamics and how to navigate through the murkiness of supporting vs. enabling.
How to hold them accountable for their actions without feeling guilty, ashamed, or allowing fear to interfere with your decisions. Plus, you have me to lean on to support you in your goals and self-care routines.
Breaking patterns is essential for success and disrupts the status quo which is what we need to do. Understanding your patterns and theirs is crucial. The path of substance abuse is predictable once you understand the patterns
RESISTANCE PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT REACHING OUT
Families often find themselves resisting the idea of reaching out and getting help. Why? Here are some of the most common resistance thinking patterns that get in the way:
"If I reach out, then I have to really admit there is a problem."
"I really don't have time for this"
"Why do I need help, they are the one with the problem.
"I'm tired of feeling like I'm getting punished for their decisions."
"What does it say about me if I have an addicted kid?"
"You can't help me, there is nothing I haven't already tried."
"Oh, just one more person trying to get money, you're probably just as full of shit as everyone else."
"I don't need one more person trying to tell me how to parent my own damn child."
"I don't need one more person trying to tell me I'm enabling my child, I AM HELPING. There is nothing I won't do for my child."
"You're just going to tell me I have to turn my back on them and I will NEVER turn my back on my kid."
"I shouldn't need any help."
And so many more reasons to resist.