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There are three ways people stop abusing substances.
1. They are inspired by their families
2. They have to do it in spite of their families
3. They die
I know that third option is not the option we can accept and it's so hard to face as an option. That's why I focus on helping parents learn how to inspire their loved ones, as well as learn what is going on inside their warped perception of life.
I teach you how to set loving and supporting boundaries that help your loved one. This is what ultimately saved my life.
I want to help you learn how you can be a part of saving your loved ones life too before it's too late. You can learn more about my journey as well as some helpful strategies by signing up to get my free ebook.
After you have read it or if you are ready NOW to start saving your loved one's life, it's time to sign up a phone call to learn more. It's free, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Do you have the answer to these question:
Do you know what to do when your loved one gets arrested? How are you going to feel?
Do you know what to do when they are hinting at suicide? What do you say to them?
Do you know what to do when you start seeing money missing from your wallet, the tools start going missing, your jewelry is gone?
Do you know what to do when you know they are lying to you? How do you confront them?
Do you know what to do when they can't seem to really hear anything you are saying to them, and all you want to do is reach through to them?
What do you do when you seem to be in a vicious cycle of things getting better then things getting worse again?
Do you know what do when you get so sick and tired of having to stop everything you're doing to go clean up their mess?
What do you do when they have wrecked yet another car you bought them so they could get to and from work?
Do you know what to say to them when they say they are going to work, but they never seem to have money, and you don't know how to confront them?
Do you know what to do when your boundaries seem to be constantly getting stomped on?
What do you do when they are in the hospital for the THIRD freaking overdose, as if one wasn't enough to wake them up.
When you work with me directly, we cover answers to those question AND:
How to handle difficult conversations and the most effective language to use.
Setting effective, loving, and supportive boundaries, and most importantly, defining good solid boundaries you are willing to defend.
Interpretation of actions, behaviors and mindsets that will help you navigate your decision-making process.
Family dynamics are complicate. We walk through the complicated family dynamics and how to navigate through the murkiness of supporting vs. enabling.
How to hold them accountable for their actions without feeling guilty, ashamed, or allowing fear to interfere with your decisions. Plus, you have me to lean on to support you in your goals and self-care routines.
Breaking patterns is essential for success and disrupts the status quo which is what we need to do. Understanding your patterns and theirs is crucial. The path of substance abuse is predictable once you understand the patterns
The Bottom Line
You could spend the next years of your life desperate, floundering, full of fear, anger, shame, wasting time and money
You could learn how to be their inspiring spark that supports them into their own recovery before it's too late.
THE BEST PART:
YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO:
Sleep at night again.
Remove guilt and shame from your decisions.
Get rid of that ball of anxiety that never seems to go away.
Focus on your own life and your own ambitions you set out for yourself before all this started happening.
Remain loving and supportive through the whole process.
Ready to change your situation?
Not quite ready to get on a phone call yet?
Not everyone is ready to admit they need help with their loved ones just yet. Maybe thinking about getting a phone call seems just too vulnerable and you can't go there yet. You are still ready to figure out what you can do to help your loved one.
The Best Place To Start If You Are Not Ready To Get On The Phone: The Early Recovery Program.
A Program for the families who are desperate to find help for their loved ones.
The Early Recovery Program
Early recovery is messy. It isn't always clear what to do and how to do it. I know personally I was confused, scared, I didn't know who to turn to, how to find answers to the so many questions I had. I stumbled, made bad choices, and I had no idea how to get through them.
There were emotions I didn't understand, my brain felt like it was attacking itself, and I felt so lost and alone.
Just entering into recovery can feel overwhelming. I think back to what I wish I had in the beginning which was more information about what to expect and to not feel so alone but I didn't know how to get that, or even know how to ask for it. So I created this program with the intention to help people find their way through the darkness of early recovery.
I put this program together for the families to give their loved ones who are entering into early recovery.
But Jen...The Early Recovery Program is for my loved one.
Yes, it is designed to help them in the early stages of recovery. But it will help you begin to understand what they are going through and how you can support them. It goes through how to navigate:
Complicated Family Dynamics
And so much more
AS A FAMILY MEMBER GOING THROUGH THE PROGRAM, YOU WILL:
Save yourself a lot of money down the line
You will learn what the responsibilities are of the person with the substance abuse. Families often take too much responsibility for their problems. After this program, you won't feel obligated to fix their problems anymore.
Let go of your guilt and shame
The program will point out that the person with the substance abuse is responsible for their life. You didn't cause this, and they know that, even when they blame you for all their problems. Consciously you know you didn't cause this and you have nothing to feel guilty about but subconsciously. There may be guilt and shame for having a loved one that acts the way they do. You can learn through this program to let that go.
Gain a much better understanding of your loved one
They have been acting so out of character and not living up to their potential for so long it's hard to even understand what is going on. This program will give you an inside look into their minds. It's not condoning poor behaviors, but it will provide a better understanding because then you will start understanding how to approach them in a different way.
Join My Families Dealing with Addiction Facebook Group
Having loved ones with substance abuse issues can lead us to having far more questions than answers. We can feel like we are losing our sense of self, being isolated, and full of anxiety and fear that leave us filled with dread every time the phone rings. Sleep? What's that?
This support group is not like your typical support group. The goal is that people feel more connected with themselves, with others, feeling like you are not alone in this, and a way to provide helpful tools and tips.
Want to be able to get help for yourself driving down the road or while you are cleaning your house? Subscribe to my podcast dedicated to helping families understand their loved ones better and how they can help them. Best of all, it's a free resource.
You can go find my podcast on any of the streaming networks or click the button below. You will start hearing some patterns emerge that will give you clarity and insights, and an even deeper understanding why this program is so valuable. You will also get a big dose of hope and inspiration. Recovery is possible.
Resource Section From the Podcast
I interview guests that work in or own facilities. If you are looking for places to send your loved one, you can start here.
Green Hill’s team is uniquely prepared to help their residents, males 18-27, develop the tools needed to succeed in recovery and in life. They believe academic and career development are vital components of their residents’ recovery journeys, so they complement their clinical team with experienced academics, proven leaders, and working professionals. Their team is committed to delivering residents a well-rounded recovery experience, equipping them with the skills needed to chart their own paths in recovery.
The Ember Lodge works with young adult women. A note from Ember Lodge:
While we can never say we know exactly what you are feeling; the staff members at Ember Lodge can relate. On a deeply personal level, we understand the often hopeless feelings of early recovery. We have witnessed and experienced the immense beauty that comes with healing your way through to the other side. This intimate understanding is deeply rooted in our magnetic pull to serve others transitioning into a life of lasting recovery.
My Latest Blogs
What I love about Jen is she brings her best to everything she does, and she always listens to me carefully, so I feel heard and respected around her. She has an unusual skill of getting right to the heart of core issues(s) with compassion while at the same time setting clear boundaries for behaviors and actions. She inspires positive motivated action and is an amazing coach who listens carefully to those she works with. I can confidently bring any project or issue to Jen and count on her to open my eyes and my mind to greater perspective and more effective actions.
Jen helped me out tremendously when our oldest was spiraling out of control. It was so helpful to talk to her and get her perspective and insights during such a chaotic time. I would recommend her services to any parent dealing with a child’s addiction.
Jen has a way of seeing past any negative in a situation and getting into the solution. Jen is a loving and kind soul. It takes a lot to deter her from achieving what she has set out to do. She has shown to have the ability to show up for others in their darkest of times with a loving and sturdy presence.
RARE INTERVIEW! Jennifer was that loved one, and she tells the story from both sides. She had a gut-wrenching addiction, and she now helps families know what to do. Powerful interview!
Heart-wrenching, heart-warming story of how my guest, Jennifer Maneely, found her way back from addiction to success in every way, on every level! Be inspired by her story, and her willingness to share her journey.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
Jennifer's story of being lost in addiction
How Jennifer found her way back to sobriety
What family can do that's helpful to an addicted family member
What families unwittingly do, thinking it helps an addicted person
How Jennifer Maneely's learning to set boundaries helped end addiction
Other ways to deal with the pain, shame, and guilt that leads to depression and addiction
You may have an addicted family member, and you so want to help. Learn what is actually helpful. Also, though, learn what may be well-meaning, but is actually unhelpful and alienating! Who knew? But hearing it from someone who can tell you how the addicted person hears your well-meaning--though perhaps misguided--words can be eye-opening. That's what this conversation will do!
And, share it with folks who are addicted and who have addicted family members, too. That could be just what could make all the difference and create a breakthrough for them!
Jennifer Maneely, founder of Maneely Consulting, Inc. She’s a perfect guest for our show. Her first sentiment expressed to me was, “I’m in the addiction field where sometimes all you have left is a prayer after all the medicine in the world won’t fix everything.” Now that’s a “where medicine meets ministry moment”! In her own words, “having loved ones in addition can leave a person hopeless and desperate and it’s a good reminder to see that God has a plan, even it it’s not the one we necessarily want, but asking for strength and remembering the word of God is imperative to help get families through addition.”
"I suffered with my own addiction and it was purely through divine intervention that I survived. My mom and I had such a powerful experience together, and the events leading up to my last day using were so God led, I could never deny God's powerful existence. Everyday, I continue to strive to be the person that God made me, and share my story with others so they can have faith, support, and maybe not feel so lost through the process of having loved ones in addiction.
A lot of people, when they have loved ones dealing with substance abuse, even the strongest most confident people can be torn down into insecure, self doubting people. So how to you make sure you remain the person you want to be and not give yourself away even while your loved one is suffering? In this episode, I welcome Jennifer Maneely to the show as she provides strategies to help your loved one through addiction.
Jennifer Maneely is the founder of Maneely Consulting, Inc. a coaching firm with families who have loved ones in addiction or trauma related substance abuse. She works with the families to help them develop strategies and coach them on setting effective, supportive, and loving boundaries so that their loved ones can get the help they need, and the families don't go down with them. Her work is inspired by her own journey through addiction.
Jennifer is an awesome addiction coach, helping families navigate the world of addiction and help their loved one’s during this difficult time. As recovering addict herself she understands how difficult it is for the both the families and the addict. She is honest and open with her clients while sharing what is in the mind of the addict. This helps the family cope and maneuver this difficult time in their lives with power and ease.
What do you do when a family member is abusing drugs or alcohol? What about when they are lying and stealing from you? How do you protect yourself? Do you standby and watch as they spiral towards rock bottom? Is there anything can you do or say that will get through to them? How do you cope when you dread every phone call fearing the worst?
Robin LaCross interviewed me and I talk about my story of the sheltered daughter who goes off to college and down a slippery slope into drug addiction. And how In the years since getting my life back together, I've been helping families develop strategies to help loved ones caught up in addiction and trauma related substance abuse. I share what my family did that made the biggest difference for me as I struggled to find my way back to sobriety.
I recently had the pleasure of joining Ray Lynch on his radio show called "Miracles in Recovery"
About the show:
On Miracles in Recovery we discuss all aspects of addiction and recovery and how they affect our families, communities, and the relationships within them. Join us for answers on how twelve step recovery programs can work in the lives of addicts and their families. We are also open to discuss any alternative options that have been working in your life as well. It starts by looking in the mirror. Hope is in your corner.
I joined Matt Mittan on his show to talk about my F.A.C.T.S.™ System to support parents that have loved ones with a substance abuse issue.