How do you know what to do when:
Your loved one gets arrested?
They are hinting at suicide? Or flat out telling you they are going to kill themselves?
You start seeing money missing from your wallet? Or you are much further along in them stealing from you and all your tools, TV, Jewelry, etc are gone?
You know they are lying to you, but you have no evidence?
They can't seem to really hear anything you are saying to them?
You're in a vicious cycle of things getting better then things getting worse again?
You get so sick and tired of having to stop everything you're doing to go clean up their mess?
They have wrecked yet another car you bought them so they could get to and from work?
They say they are going to work, but they never seem to have money?
Your boundaries seem to be constantly getting stomped on?
They are in the hospital for the THIRD freaking overdose, as if one wasn't enough to wake them up.
Has witnessed substance abuse happening and is worried it may continue to develop into a bigger issue?
Is afraid your child will die if they continue down the road they are on?
Seem to always end up believing what they say even after the hundred of lies they have been caught in?
Is scratching your head wondering how this could be happening?
Feels simply powerless and helpless to help their child struggling.
Is sick and tired of being sick and tired?
You know your child
You know your child better than anyone. You raised them! You know how they act when they are angry, sad, happy, every emotion they have, you understand them as their parent. You don't need anyone telling you how to parent your child.
But you don't know substance abuse
Imagine going to a foreign country where you don't speak the language and you don't know the laws the country operates under without a guide or interpreter helping you. What would happen?
Addiction (even if you are not ready to call it addiction yet) has its own language and laws. You don't need to know everything about the world, but you need to have someone guide you through the murky waters to help you stay out of trouble in a world you could never fully understand.
You need strategies to navigate in the substance abuse world because that is where your child is living.
The Best Place To Start? The Unbreakable Boundaries Program
Setting effective boundaries is essential to their well being and yours.
How do you set clear expectations?
How do you know what to expect from a seemingly unpredictable world?
How do you love them unconditionally and support them, without crossing the line into enabling?
If you don't want to:
Lose your marriage
Lose your house
Destroy any hope of having a relationship with your loved one
Setting effective boundaries will save you and them. No parent wants to turn their back on their loved one...and you don't have to.
LOVING AN ADDICT IS CONFUSING AND PAINFUL
For parents that are experiencing a loved one with substance abuse, you are probably feeling exhausted, isolated, scared, and ready just to throw your hands up because everytime you open your mouth and try to help your son/daughter, it’s like talking to a brick wall. Every move you make seems to be the wrong one.
Your work life may even be suffering because even though you are physically present at work, mentally you are not. All your attention and focus is worrying about your child, and your performance at work suffers. People are noticing a change in you and not for the better. They may even be telling you open up and let people know what's going on, but when you do, you may experience feeling judged pushing you deeper into isolation and confusion.
When you try to Google and go to the online forums researching what to do and how to fix it your child, you may be left feeling more confused than ever because one person says this, and another person says that and it all contradicts each other and you’re left just wanting to pull your hair out. It may seem like you haven’t really slept in days or weeks and the exhaustion leaves you sitting in the car crying at stop lights and begging the higher powers that be to just tell you what to do to “fix your child.”
Are you ready to save yourself time and money?
Learn more about The Boundary Setting Program
Did you know:
Addiction is a life threatening disease that has statistics skyrocketing in death rates.
Feel scared and powerless?
You don't have to anymore
The Boundary Setting Program is uniquely set up to go deeper into understanding how boundaries can end up potentially saving their life, and regain your own life and confidence that you are doing things FOR them.
How do you know when:
These are tough questions you may not know the answers to
They are lying to you?
They are manipulating you?
Having a hard time believing your son/daughter is lying to you and manipulating you?
The boundaries you are setting aren't working because maybe the boundaries you are setting won't work for YOUR child?
You are investing in their future or wasting time and money?
GOOD NEWS: I DO
I help families learn more in a few short months than what you it would take a lifetime to learn on your own.
We focus on:
Blind Spots you may have with your own child
Setting effective boundaries working with YOUR foundation as a parent
Supporting and investing in their future while setting the right conditions to get the help they need
Financially protecting them and you
Know how to handle suicide threats, gaslighting, manipulation, and falling for their lies.
Impact Addiction Has On The Families
Families can often find themselves:
In an unhealthy caretaker role
Being put in dangerous situation
Grieving the loss of their loved one
Substance abuse tears families apart and causes a lot of pain and suffering to everyone in the lives of the person dealing with their substance abuse. As more resources are available, people are getting the help they need (but may not want or accept).
What about the families? Often, the families are left to fend for themselves and attempt to figure out how to handle problems and emotional strain in a chaotic and confusing (sometimes completely insane) environment.
Reaching out into the vast ocean of google can leave you more confused than ever. Each parent and child is different with different needs and different things that work. We work together on finding the best ways to navigate YOUR loved ones substance abuse. There isn’t a blanket solution to addiction, so there aren’t blanket answers of what to do.
I have several resources and can help guide you through the murky waters of treatment facilities. I have spent the time researching and communicating with facilities about their cultures, what they specialize in, and the admission process. If you really want to go through everything I have to offer, schedule a call with me.
My Latest Blogs
What I love about Jen is she brings her best to everything she does, and she always listens to me carefully, so I feel heard and respected around her. She has an unusual skill of getting right to the heart of core issues(s) with compassion while at the same time setting clear boundaries for behaviors and actions. She inspires positive motivated action and is an amazing coach who listens carefully to those she works with. I can confidently bring any project or issue to Jen and count on her to open my eyes and my mind to greater perspective and more effective actions.
Jen helped me out tremendously when our oldest was spiraling out of control. It was so helpful to talk to her and get her perspective and insights during such a chaotic time. I would recommend her services to any parent dealing with a child’s addiction.
Jen has a way of seeing past any negative in a situation and getting into the solution. Jen is a loving and kind soul. It takes a lot to deter her from achieving what she has set out to do. She has shown to have the ability to show up for others in their darkest of times with a loving and sturdy presence.
I recently had the pleasure of joining Ray Lynch on his radio show called "Miracles in Recovery"
About the show:
On Miracles in Recovery we discuss all aspects of addiction and recovery and how they affect our families, communities, and the relationships within them. Join us for answers on how twelve step recovery programs can work in the lives of addicts and their families. We are also open to discuss any alternative options that have been working in your life as well. It starts by looking in the mirror. Hope is in your corner.
I joined Matt Mittan on his show to talk about my F.A.C.T.S.™ System to support parents that have loved ones with a substance abuse issue.