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There are three ways people stop abusing substances.
1. They are inspired by their families
2. They have to do it in spite of their families
3. They die
I know that third option is not the option we can accept and it's so hard to face as an option. That's why I focus on helping parents learn how to inspire their loved ones, as well as learn what is going on inside their warped perception of life.
I teach you how to set loving and supporting boundaries that help your loved one. This is what ultimately saved my life.
I want to help you learn how you can be a part of saving your loved ones life too before it's too late. You can learn more about my journey as well as some helpful strategies by signing up to get my free ebook.
After you have read it or if you are ready NOW to start saving your loved one's life, it's time to sign up a phone call to learn more. It's free, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
New Program for the families who are desperate to find help for their loved ones.
Introducing: The Early Recovery Program
Early recovery is messy. It isn't always clear what to do and how to do it. I know personally I was confused, scared, I didn't know who to turn to, how to find answers to the so many questions I had. I stumbled, made bad choices, and I had no idea how to get through them.
There were emotions I didn't understand, my brain felt like it was attacking itself, and I felt so lost and alone.
Just entering into recovery can feel overwhelming. I think back to what I wish I had in the beginning which was more information about what to expect and to not feel so alone but I didn't know how to get that, or even know how to ask for it. So I created this program with the intention to help people find their way through the darkness of early recovery.
Do you have the answer to these question:
Do you know what to do when your loved one gets arrested? How are you going to feel?
Do you know what to do when they are hinting at suicide? What do you say to them?
Do you know what to do when you start seeing money missing from your wallet, the tools start going missing, your jewelry is gone?
Do you know what to do when you know they are lying to you? How do you confront them?
Do you know what to do when they can't seem to really hear anything you are saying to them, and all you want to do is reach through to them?
What do you do when you seem to be in a vicious cycle of things getting better then things getting worse again?
Do you know what do when you get so sick and tired of having to stop everything you're doing to go clean up their mess?
What do you do when they have wrecked yet another car you bought them so they could get to and from work?
Do you know what to say to them when they say they are going to work, but they never seem to have money, and you don't know how to confront them?
Do you know what to do when your boundaries seem to be constantly getting stomped on?
What do you do when they are in the hospital for the THIRD freaking overdose, as if one wasn't enough to wake them up.
The Bottom Line
You could spend the next years of your life desperate, floundering, full of fear, anger, shame, wasting time and money
You could learn how to be their inspiring spark that supports them into their own recovery before it's too late.
THE BEST PART:
YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO:
Sleep at night again.
Remove guilt and shame from your decisions.
Get rid of that ball of anxiety that never seems to go away.
Focus on your own life and your own ambitions you set out for yourself before all this started happening.
Remain loving and supportive through the whole process.
The Best Place To Start? The Unbreakable Boundaries Program
Setting effective, loving boundaries is essential to their well being and yours.
How do you set clear expectations?
How do you know what to expect from a seemingly unpredictable world?
How do you love them unconditionally and support them, without crossing the line into enabling?
If you don't want to:
Lose your marriage
Lose your house
Destroy any hope of having a relationship with your loved one
Setting effective boundaries will save you and them. No parent wants to turn their back on their loved one...and you don't have to.
LOVING A PERSON WITH TRAUMA RELATED SUBSTANCE ABUSE IS CONFUSING AND PAINFUL
WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING
For parents that are experiencing a loved one with substance abuse, you are probably feeling exhausted, isolated, scared, and ready just to throw your hands up because everytime you open your mouth and try to help your son/daughter, it’s like talking to a brick wall. Every move you make seems to be the wrong one.
YOUR WORK LIFE
Your work life may even be suffering because even though you are physically present at work, mentally you are not. All your attention and focus is worrying about your child, and your performance at work suffers. People are noticing a change in you and not for the better. They may even be telling you open up and let people know what's going on, but when you do, you may experience feeling judged pushing you deeper into isolation and confusion.
WHAT IT'S LIKE TRYING TO FIND RESOURCES
When you try to Google and go to the online forums researching what to do and how to fix it your child, you may be left feeling more confused than ever because one person says this, and another person says that and it all contradicts each other and you’re left just wanting to pull your hair out. It may seem like you haven’t really slept in days or weeks and the exhaustion leaves you sitting in the car crying at stop lights and begging the higher powers that be to just tell you what to do to “fix your child.”
Are you ready to save yourself time and money?
You may not have years to learn this stuff on our own.
Learn more about The Unbreakable Boundaries Program
WANT TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE PROGRAM? A MOTHER SHARES HER STORY ON MY PODCAST ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE OF THE PROGRAM.
Impact Addiction Has On The Families
Families can often find themselves:
In an unhealthy caretaker role
Being put in dangerous situation
Grieving the loss of their loved one
Substance abuse tears families apart and causes a lot of pain and suffering to everyone in the lives of the person dealing with their substance abuse. As more resources are available, people are getting the help they need (but may not want or accept).
What about the families? Often, the families are left to fend for themselves and attempt to figure out how to handle problems and emotional strain in a chaotic and confusing (sometimes completely insane) environment.
On my Unbreakable Boundaries Podcast
There is a difference between someone who is simply abstaining from drugs/alcohol and what it means to be in recovery. For years, Eddie would be able to abstain from drugs and alcohol on his own. He has been a practicing buddhist for multiple decades, so yoga and meditation practices are deeply ingrained in his daily life, but that simply wasn't enough. He felt like there was still a missing piece to getting him to the next level of self-care and awareness, and that was through the community of recovery. Now, he dedicates his life to helping others really understand and rewire old thought patterns and beliefs to help them break free from the prison of addiction through mindfulness.
You can find out more about him and what he does at amindfulemergence.com
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Having a loved one with substance abuse can be challenging in what the heck to do. There are a lot of things to consider but I am giving you THE #1 thing to do here that is going to change your life. And save you a lot of pain and frustration.
What I love about Jen is she brings her best to everything she does, and she always listens to me carefully, so I feel heard and respected around her. She has an unusual skill of getting right to the heart of core issues(s) with compassion while at the same time setting clear boundaries for behaviors and actions. She inspires positive motivated action and is an amazing coach who listens carefully to those she works with. I can confidently bring any project or issue to Jen and count on her to open my eyes and my mind to greater perspective and more effective actions.
Jen helped me out tremendously when our oldest was spiraling out of control. It was so helpful to talk to her and get her perspective and insights during such a chaotic time. I would recommend her services to any parent dealing with a child’s addiction.
Jen has a way of seeing past any negative in a situation and getting into the solution. Jen is a loving and kind soul. It takes a lot to deter her from achieving what she has set out to do. She has shown to have the ability to show up for others in their darkest of times with a loving and sturdy presence.
RARE INTERVIEW! Jennifer was that loved one, and she tells the story from both sides. She had a gut-wrenching addiction, and she now helps families know what to do. Powerful interview!
Heart-wrenching, heart-warming story of how my guest, Jennifer Maneely, found her way back from addiction to success in every way, on every level! Be inspired by her story, and her willingness to share her journey.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
Jennifer's story of being lost in addiction
How Jennifer found her way back to sobriety
What family can do that's helpful to an addicted family member
What families unwittingly do, thinking it helps an addicted person
How Jennifer Maneely's learning to set boundaries helped end addiction
Other ways to deal with the pain, shame, and guilt that leads to depression and addiction
You may have an addicted family member, and you so want to help. Learn what is actually helpful. Also, though, learn what may be well-meaning, but is actually unhelpful and alienating! Who knew? But hearing it from someone who can tell you how the addicted person hears your well-meaning--though perhaps misguided--words can be eye-opening. That's what this conversation will do!
And, share it with folks who are addicted and who have addicted family members, too. That could be just what could make all the difference and create a breakthrough for them!
Jennifer Maneely, founder of Maneely Consulting, Inc. She’s a perfect guest for our show. Her first sentiment expressed to me was, “I’m in the addiction field where sometimes all you have left is a prayer after all the medicine in the world won’t fix everything.” Now that’s a “where medicine meets ministry moment”! In her own words, “having loved ones in addition can leave a person hopeless and desperate and it’s a good reminder to see that God has a plan, even it it’s not the one we necessarily want, but asking for strength and remembering the word of God is imperative to help get families through addition.”
"I suffered with my own addiction and it was purely through divine intervention that I survived. My mom and I had such a powerful experience together, and the events leading up to my last day using were so God led, I could never deny God's powerful existence. Everyday, I continue to strive to be the person that God made me, and share my story with others so they can have faith, support, and maybe not feel so lost through the process of having loved ones in addiction.
A lot of people, when they have loved ones dealing with substance abuse, even the strongest most confident people can be torn down into insecure, self doubting people. So how to you make sure you remain the person you want to be and not give yourself away even while your loved one is suffering? In this episode, I welcome Jennifer Maneely to the show as she provides strategies to help your loved one through addiction.
Jennifer Maneely is the founder of Maneely Consulting, Inc. a coaching firm with families who have loved ones in addiction or trauma related substance abuse. She works with the families to help them develop strategies and coach them on setting effective, supportive, and loving boundaries so that their loved ones can get the help they need, and the families don't go down with them. Her work is inspired by her own journey through addiction.
Jennifer is an awesome addiction coach, helping families navigate the world of addiction and help their loved one’s during this difficult time. As recovering addict herself she understands how difficult it is for the both the families and the addict. She is honest and open with her clients while sharing what is in the mind of the addict. This helps the family cope and maneuver this difficult time in their lives with power and ease.
What do you do when a family member is abusing drugs or alcohol? What about when they are lying and stealing from you? How do you protect yourself? Do you standby and watch as they spiral towards rock bottom? Is there anything can you do or say that will get through to them? How do you cope when you dread every phone call fearing the worst?
Robin LaCross interviewed me and I talk about my story of the sheltered daughter who goes off to college and down a slippery slope into drug addiction. And how In the years since getting my life back together, I've been helping families develop strategies to help loved ones caught up in addiction and trauma related substance abuse. I share what my family did that made the biggest difference for me as I struggled to find my way back to sobriety.
I recently had the pleasure of joining Ray Lynch on his radio show called "Miracles in Recovery"
About the show:
On Miracles in Recovery we discuss all aspects of addiction and recovery and how they affect our families, communities, and the relationships within them. Join us for answers on how twelve step recovery programs can work in the lives of addicts and their families. We are also open to discuss any alternative options that have been working in your life as well. It starts by looking in the mirror. Hope is in your corner.
I joined Matt Mittan on his show to talk about my F.A.C.T.S.™ System to support parents that have loved ones with a substance abuse issue.