Tough love, what does it really mean? If you have a loved one with substance abuse issues, you often hear the term “tough love.” Many people think that it’s about being tough on someone. That is true, but not in the way people often think.

I get these comments from families all the time, why does it still seem like they are teenagers?

When it comes to having a loved one in addiction, it’s all the lying that can make us start feeling crazy!!!

All the freaking lies they tell, lies they don’t even have to tell.

There are so many times where you scratch your head going, “Why did they even lie about that, I wouldn’t have even cared if they told me the truth.”

There are a few different reasons why they do this. The main one is, it’s a great tactic to throw you off and distract you from the things they REALLY don’t want you to know about.

I’ve watched thousands of people come in and out of recovery, go in and out of rehabs, and there are characteristics that I look for in a person give me an idea if I think that someone is ready to start the journey of long term recovery. These are not absolute truths. These are based on what I have seen. These are my opinions; it just gives me a start to determine if this is someone that I feel like I could either be friends with or sponsor without feeling like I am wasting my time.

It's that time of the year again, the holiday season is upon us and things may seem to be more chaotic than usual this time of the year. Whether your loved one is in recovery or they are still using drugs, many of us struggle.

When it comes to having a loved one in addiction, you’re going to need help learning how to deal with your loved one. Often, that help can come is simple support, a listening ear, maybe a counselor, and a LOT of people more than willing to give you opinions and advice (Even if they have no clue what to do).

One of the most straight forward and time-saving boundaries I use when dealing with someone with substance use disorder is matching the level of energy someone else puts in.

I love helping people. For a long time, my love for helping people cost me so much time and energy, and I feel like I rarely got a return on investment.

It was so amazing and so awful at the same time. I had really done some damage to myself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Within a few months, I started getting better physically.

There are no truer words said when it comes to having a loved one with substance abuse. It doesn't just impact the person using, it impacts everyone in the family unit. And the families are the ones that end up suffering the most.

It can be hard having a loved one with substance abuse issues. Most people you ask will tell you to show them tough love. And I watch people struggling to do that because they think tough love is something it's not. It's not about being tough on them. It's about believing in them enough to know they will have to sort things out for themselves.

Ugghhhh I know, it is so freaking frustrating watching people destroy themselves when it seems so simple to the people that are not in an insane mindset.

Boundaries are essential when you have a loved one in addiction. It can seem exhausting, and you may feel defeated when the boundaries don't work, so why even bother setting them?

Many times when families have loved ones in addiction, their lives halt until their loved ones get better. Our attention and resources can be funneled in their direction. Addiction can cause family members to start isolating away from their friends and other family members due to fear of judgment.